It's almost OVER.

I went to my last day of classes on Friday and it was a very strange and almost... surreal feeling.  I can't believe that I am almost officially done with school (for awhile).  It's scary, but exhilarating at the same time...

I really wish that time didn't go by so quickly... time is definitely something I wish I could stall at this moment.  But I neither possess the knowledge or the ability to do so... thus, nothing can be done in my power.  I am leaving it up to Fate.  As cliche as it is to say that something will happen if it is meant to, I know that it is true.  I honestly don't think that God would put me in a position where, in the long run, will not be beneficial to me.  Even if things suck right now, I trust that everything will be okay.  I know I can't see the bigger picture and recently, many heinous ideas have been going through my mind to find a way to cheat fate.  I know that I need to be more proactive in striving towards my desires, but I think I might be a little too fearful of what it is that I'm going to learn about myself and I don't know if I can handle the reality of my situation yet. I realize that I don't make much sense (I'm suffering from a migraine at the moment) but these days, things just do not make sense--at all.  But as much as things don't make sense, I know that I must trust and go with the flow of things like I normally do.  I just need to reevaluate what it is that I really want in my life because right now, I don't know if I am doing what I want because it is convenient--which I've realized that I often find myself doing--or because it is what I am meant to do.  I know that I eventually have to make a choice... but right now, I just hope that whatever it is, it is for good, the better, and me.

Anyway, I need to get through the next week in order to survive, graduate, and move on with my life! I'm excited for graduation for a number of reasons...but I have to admit, I am VERY nervous, stressed, and I definitely feel like I am pressed for time.  Firstly, I need to go pick up my cap and gown.... haha -_-;;

But, only for now, I can feel this way... so it's okay to dwell a little, right?

The Loommates at our Canyon Point Banquet. I'm totally going to miss all of this... but I'm excited for our upcoming escapade!

It's not 5 AM.

It will be the first time that I will have gone to bed before the clock strikes 5 am... weird.  I haven't been able to sleep lately; perhaps, it is because I have been overcome with worries and as a result, my mind is never at peace.  It's really terrible, actually, that I need to focus on other things in order to try and find that peace of mind and go to sleep.  AND it's not that I'm not tired.  My body aches and is quite tired, but after I get ready for bed, I can never fall asleep.  Why is that?  I'd love to sleep in--or just feel well-rested.  Now, this is something I only find to be irksome because, regardless of circumstances, I never just skip class.  I have not done such a thing during my college career, unless I had some planned event which did not allow for me to attend a class.  This quarter (and perhaps because it is my last) I have missed many of my 11 am classes... sigh.  It's really terrible!  I don't feel motivated to wake up in the morning.  The sad thing is, I used to have class at 9:30 am the past two quarters, so I would wake up at 8:30, get ready and go to class because I had to be on time (attendance was required).  Maybe it's because attendance isn't a big deal for my 11 am class that I am finding myself wanting to skip it for the hell of it. EF. NOT GOOD.  I guess it's senioritis.... -_-;;

Actually, I think it's because I'm not used to going to school three times a week anymore... ESPECIALLY on Fridays.  I haven't had a Friday class since my second year, and because I have it now, I am less motivated to go and have no desire to do so... but I go because I hate missing lecture. BOO.  But this combination of hating Friday classes and never skipping lecture is quite detrimental  to my own mental state.  I can't figure out which is more important and my mind will say one thing, but then it will also think another... which does not allow for me to come to a valid conclusion. BLAH.

Anyway... I need to be up and about early tomorrow... so I must go ahead to bed.

But before I retire, have I ever mentioned how I dislike for people to ask me if s/he can see my camera and then go ahead and just delete photos without telling me?  I strongly dislike that.... more than a lot of things that I could dislike.  So, if you are unhappy with a photograph, please tell me to just not post it or ask me if you can delete it because I will look, understand, and assess the situation.  Why don't people understand this??? (I know, I'm a bit crazy, but everyone has their quirks.)

Late Nights.

Again--a typically sight of me sitting (or rather, lying) in front of the computer at 4:40 am... good thing I don't have class tomorrow! Unfortunately, I do have to wake up slightly early to turn my radio in. BOO. But tomorrow is a day that I'm looking forward to! Why? Let me see...:

1. I don't have class
2. I get to see Jaehyun 언니 for lunch
3. It's Jenny's birthday... yay!
4. I might get to meet Sweet P from Project Runway! Wheeeeee!

YAY! There are many things to look forward to, actually--like homework (haha)--so I'm excited, especially for those things listed above. AND this weekend is something to anticipate as well... I don't think I've had a weekend where I haven't had to do something huge in awhile. On Friday, I will be attending Spring Sing (yay!) and Saturday, I'm taking my residents to go shopping (we were going to go to the beach but unfortunately, due to unforeseen events... or lack thereof, it has been modified to the interest of the present majority) and Sunday, I get to go eat dim sum! Yum!

It's going to be a great break from the monotomy of this past weekend... I had a quiz last week that wasn't as difficult (luckily) as I had expected, a midterm on Monday for MIMG (Microbiology, Immunology, and Molecular Genetics), and a midterm project where we had to dub something in/into Korean.  Thus, this past weekend, Shanah and I spent the entirety of Sunday watching On Air (it's a really fabulous Korean drama that I'm TOTALLY hooked on) and then studying for MIMG. Now, I don't know why, but whenever we tell people that we're taking this class, people laugh at us. We don't understand why people laugh.... we can take MIMG! We totally aced the midterm... haha. Also, I realized that I enjoy making movies and editing--as much as I despise editing--better than I previously thought. I think that so long as I have a functioning editing tool, the entire process is much easier (go figure) for me to assess.

Now, to turn back some time:

This quarter as been CRAZY! I mean, I know it's my last quarter as an undergraduate college student, but dang... it goes by extremely quickly! EF my life! I don't want to have a nervous breakdown, but I really need to start thinking about my future...

But besides the hustle and bustle of worries... this quarter has proved to be quite eventful for several reasons:

1. Ed got his foot burned while sleeping by another person(s)
So... if you're wondering as to how this could happen... let me make this story short: One night, Vivian, Therese, Cosmo, Ed, and I were hanging out and went over to Cosmo's apartment. Ed had woken up at like 6 am and was feeling tired, so he fell asleep on Cosmo's bed. Later, Cosmo's roommate comes in with a friend; they disappear into Cosmo's room and then all of a sudden, we start to see flashes of light. Soon, Ed comes storming out very angry and we leave. It turns out that Cosmo's roommate and his friend gave Ed second-degree burns! They burned Ed's foot while he was sleeping and took pictures! WHO DOES THAT???!!!!??! So, Ed ended up going to the hospital that night and filing a police report. Ed seriously had blisters that looked like boulders on his foot and he couldn't really walk around for awhile. It was a pitiful sight... SERIOUSLY, WHO DOES THAT? How does anyone think it's okay to do that? How does someone think it's funny to act maliciously towards another and then try to brush it off as if it was nothing--especially to someone you don't even know?! Needless to say, we were all very angry and told everyone we knew about the story of how Ed got his foot burned. Sad.

2. I got to go to the Getty Center for the first time!
I know that I live very close to it, but I've never really been able to go there. AND I really enjoyed it! Their garden was beautiful and I got to see some fun art pieces I'd like to go back sometime when I have more time.'

3. The Complete History of America Abridged
I helped my residents put this production on... and man... I really wish that I could have said everything that I wanted to and make them somehow, understand how and what I was feeling and why I felt that way. It's so frustrating when you feel underappreciated for something that should have definitely not ended that way. On a side note, it was the first time I got to photograph a production with the camera that Edward gave to me... so that was exciting!

4. New Camera!
Well... it's not really NEW, but it shall suffice! Edward is allowing for me to use his camera this quarter. I've been taking pictures like crazy--and it's completely fabulous! I just wish I knew more about the features and such so that I can improve. I shall post some pictures at the end.

5. Graduation preparation... GAH!
I really need to start thinking about this, however, it is a slowwwww process for me and I'm procrastinating. I should order my cap and gown, I think

6. New phone!!! YAY!
Finally, I do not have to use my old phone anymore. This past year has been the terrible terror experiences with multiple cell phones. SAD. I was definitely happy to get a new phone... haha

Alright. I'm starting to get really sleepy and I have to get up early! BOOOO!

Fin.

it's only 2:04 am.

thank goodness (or not...)

FRIDAY. i just have to get through to this friday, 12 pm (actually, i should ideally be done by 7 am or so... so that i can start submitting all my information... scan all my documents... oh, dear. i feel the mountain forming and growing... T.T)... then i have till next friday (but this friday is more crucial since it's like.. in a day... sigh.)

i am pressed for time. too bad i'm such a terrible procrastinator. and really, i thought i was going to be more prepared this time around... i REALLY got lazy this quarter. sad for my life. but it's probably because i rely more on my head than working diligently. sigh. EF my life.

FRIDAY. tomorrow i have class till 5:30 pm. i also have a presentation and a final. goodness--i do hope that i can pull those two off, even if they're borth going to be impromptu...

okay. i need to stop slacking. i also need to stop eating cupcakes (even though they're mighty delicious).

SPRING BREAK. i wish i was there already--or i'd like to rewind to about 3 weeks ago... haha

And it's back to the weeeeeee hours of the night...

So, here I am once again, at 4 am... instead of sleeping, I blog.

The next two weeks are going to be INTENSE. I am definitely not looking forward to it... or its results, for that matter... sigh.

I can't believe that winter quarter is already coming to an end~! EEK!! Real life just creeps closer and closer....

And I have, in fact, been contemplating about my future plans more frequently lately--but I still lack direction and true drive to really get into doing something about it.  At the moment, I am not really motivated to do anything... I haven't slept in a few days (yesterday, I stayed up till 10 am, the day before the day before that, I also stayed up past 7 am... EEK--but I did have valid [and productive] reasons as to why I was up) and I was feeling rather drowsy as my eyes started to droop not too long ago... but I think I am getting sick again (sad, I just got over the flu too.. boo) and I think it's causing more suffering and a lot of my tiredness... yuck. All I really do wish for again is my health. Please pray for me.

Recent events have proved to be quite eventful--I participated in several events which I give much gratitude to supporters (thank youuuuu) and have learned a a few things from... one of which was Dance Marathon:

Well... it's almost 5 am now and now that I have sufficiently been distracted, I should go off to bed.

BLAH.

This week will be TERRIFYING but I hope that I can finish. in 3 hours, I need to be up. PLEASE be up.

asdfjkl;.